Point A to Point B: This is the In-Between


To whomever is reading this,

Hi there! I'm April. A lot of people get dazed with everything happening so quickly. I am definitely no exception. Unlike most people, however, I know exactly where I wanna be at the end of this whole thing. It's mostly just a matter of getting through this blob of life in the middle of the sandwich of where I came from and where I wanna be. This, whoever you are, is the in-between.

Thanks for thinking that this little outlet of mine is worth the time and effort of reading. One thing that I'd like to ask is that you do not judge me or whatever, just keep an open mind. This is an outlet and that's exactly what it will be; an outlet of my thoughts, my emotions, and my random banters. Okay? Awesome!


Spontaneous move to go to mass (from months ago that I didn’t get to publish)

I went down to hear mass today for the first time in what seems like months. Most Sundays, I’m doing something or just plain lazy to move, so I end up skipping mass. After such a long time, I got up and decided to go to the church right outside our building. 

It was nothing special. The church was jam-packed, as usual. But it was something in what the priest said that struck me and told me that I was right where I was meant to be. He said something like its easy to be grateful and to express it when things are going right for you, but when you’re having a hard time, you don’t. You just focus on the bad stuff and, most of the time, almost completely forget about everything else in your life that you’re lucky to have.

I really needed this reminder. Things have definitely been less than splendid for the me this past semester, sans the occasional awesome times that I had with my friends. 

It started off with losing my boyfriend, breaking down in the aftershock, pushing people away, not having the time to be with friends, losing track of my academics, fucking up my knee and losing football, and finally, losing my scholarship. Basically, losing most of the things that I care about.

This is a far cry from what I envisioned for myself for this year. A far cry indeed. And although I’m able to laugh it off and put on a smile often enough to have a good time with my friends when I get the chance, I have to admit that I still do get those moments of depression. 

So yesterday, I fell into this sad state again. I hate feeling sorry for myself. Its stupid, but I can’t help it sometimes. I’m glad that I had this spontaneous need to go to mass, because I needed that kick in the head to remind me of all the good things that I’ve got going, regardless of everything.